Foot in Mouth
Posted by Oli on Thursday 26th July, 2007
I like to think that I’m a nice guy – I’m friendly, jocular (wow – now that’s a pretentious sounding word when you put it down in black-and-white), fairly unimposing generally and keen to get on with people. I’m also always keen to make a good impression when I meet people.
Imagine my dismay – nay, my horror – at putting my foot so spectacularly in mouth that I could almost taste my kneecaps. Not only that, but doing it with one of the lovely, friendly, wonderful and caring transplant coordinators, in whose hands – more or less – my life may rest.
The coordinators at Harefield (there are 4 of them) have changed around over the last year or so, meaning that I’ve actually only met 2 of them in person. I’ve spoken to all of them and know them to talk to, but it’s still very different meeting someone in person.
So it was a delight to meet one of the disembodied voices at the clinic I went to yesterday. In fact, she even shared my sentiments, telling me, “It’s nice to put a face to a name – to finally get to meet the person you know down a phone line.”
How lovely. Being the self-depreciating chap that I am, I countered with a swift, “I’m always a bit disappointing, though.”
Only I didn’t. The first word didn’t actually appear to emerge from my mouth when it should have been the most prominent part of the sentence, leaving merely, “Always a bit disappointing.”
It was one of those wonderful moments when you realise you’ve sunk yourself so deep into a giant well of not-very-niceness, when your stomach lurches and your brain races to catch up to say something to hurriedly recover the situation, but all the while you just know that nothing you can say is going to make it sound any better.
I drifted off into a daze of internal arguments with myself of how best to back-track, while the vast majority of my head is telling me not to say anything more as I’d only get more and more David Brent with every passing word.
By this time, of course, I look like I’ve just hurled and insult and shut up shop – even better! Not only do I knock the lovely lady down, but I then ignore her completely.
I tell you something, my brain is in a LOT of trouble, not to mention my mouth for running off and starting the whole escapade before it’s communicated properly with the up-top.
Cringe-worthy introductions aside, and ignoring the fact that I spent the majority of my trip to Harefield yesterday waiting (appropriate, I suppose, given the subject of the visit and the hospital), it actually went rather well. I think they could see that I’m no where near as well as I was last time I saw them and probably consider me a more important/urgent case than perhaps was their perception before they caught up with my for my review yesterday.
So, provided the mortified coordinator (who shall remain firmly nameless) hasn’t sent a memo round telling everyone that I’m the last person on earth who should be given a second chance, I’m hopeful that my habit of getting through things almost exactly 6-months behind our Emily means that I’m due my new blowers any day now.
We can but hope.