Smile Through It II: The Next Chapter

Chasing dreams, because I can

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Trying hard

Posted by Oli on Wednesday 21st February, 2007

It’s funny to read people’s observations on my posts on here, both in the comments on the site and emails I receive.  A lot of people seem to have had the same thought: that I do too much on my Good days, which in turn leads to the Bad days.

I have to admit that this is something I have thought of before, but I just don’t seem to have taken heed of my own warnings.  I think my family probably think the same thing, but then how often does one really listen to one’s own family when they’re telling us something unpalatable which, to an extent, we already know?

I certainly think that the thought must have occured to my Mum and Dad but they’ve refrained from bringing it up with me because they know it’s a lesson I need to learn for myself and won’t accept being told from outside.  It’s the way my family has always worked, and it’s made me all the stronger for it.  It’s a strong parent who can take a step back and let their kids make “avoidable” mistakes in order to help them learn and grow – and it’s something I’ll always be grateful for.

But having had comments on here now confirming my worst – and most hidden – suspicions about my general appraoch to getting on with things, it really seems to have sunk in.  Well, I say that now, but we’ll have to wait and see where it goes from here.

I feel almost like I’m turning over a new leaf – making a pledge to myself to try to regulate the amount of things that I do so that I can either maintain a constant energy level throughout the week, or else build in sufficient rest periods for the times immediately following major (or minor) exertions.

Yet again, I’m reminded of the value of this blog as so much more than merely a record of what I’m doing with myself from day-to-day.  It’s helped me to learn and grow and stay in touch with the essential elements of making sure I live my life to it’s fullest for however long I’m given.

I have to accept that things aren’t going to be a breeeze and I’m not going to be able to do all the things I want to do.  But I can also promise myself that I will do whatever is necessary to get the most out of the experiences and activities that mean the most to me.

So thanks to everyone who’s emailed, commented and talked me through my highs and lows – you make a big difference to the way things go around here.

Keep smiling, because I am.

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2 Responses to “Trying hard”

  1. When I started at Activ8, I really had no idea that you had CF and all this stuff you have to face. In fact I only found out when I moved into Next Stage and signed a card for you.

    I think that really says something about…[searches for right phrase]…your outlook. How, from the outside, it really does seem to make no difference.

    I’m a fifteen year old teenager who spends a session a week in your company, it’s not my place to be talking to you like my friends or giving you advice.

    But I really do respect you for that.

    Bruce
    x

  2. Pauline said

    Hi Oli, hope things are going well. I truly hope you get your transplant call soon. It’s a call I got almost 2 years ago, having waited 2 years, 3 months and 19 days. I remember every single word of that call – it changed my life forever.

    My recovery was long and hard – 9 weeks in ITU and 3 more on the ward, but I haven’t looked back, especially in the last year, when my recovery is complete (still not able to run – but never mind, didn’t like it anyway!)

    Keep up the good work, it’s very easy to keep going when you feel well, and harder to get back to it when you’re been ill. You do a marvellous job!

    Love

    Pauline (Age 43, also with 13 year old son wcf)

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